As a college English major, I must acknowledge the efficiency of the Queen’s English vs our version. As my friend Richard reminds me, “we gave you the language, we gave you the instructions, and you guys still f’d it up.”

As a first time visitor, these are some of my observations:

Bin vs Garbage Can

Way In and Way Out vs Entrance and Exit

Sorted vs Figured It Out

Toilet vs Restroom

Cheers vs Hello, Thanks, Goodbye

Mind The Gap vs Watch Your Step

Lift vs Elevator

Boot vs Trunk

Trolley vs Pull Cart

Jumper vs Sweater

Knackered vs Exhausted

Roundabout vs Traffic Circle

Speaking of roundabouts, I will offer my comments about the roads in England. I would not survive three minutes as a driver. Aggression is rewarded. Steering wheels on the right, lanes on the left, and the lanes are about 60% as wide as the lanes in America. When crossing the road as a pedestrian, you should look right first, then left–which is a hard habit to settle into. The toughest city I have ever driven in America is Miami, Florida. This is like that, but with open countryside and everything in reverse order.

I hop an early train from London to Brussels tomorrow. I will consume copious amounts of chocolate, waffles, and beer–but I will also walk 12,000 steps, which has been the average over my first three days. My pants are starting to fit better, which was one of my objectives on this trip!